Nerve.com Subversion

I don't know about any of ya'll, but personally, I have found online dating, the few times I have given it a whirl, to be just about the most isolating, insecurity-breeding, suspicion-inducing enterprise I have ever come across. Lead with your flaws and the assumption is that you're insecure. Hide your Seinfeld "Big Hands" until the first date and you're taken to be a liar. It's one of those can't win propositions unless you're perfect, which I am decidedly not.

So here's how I'm fighting it. I may just be the only idiot in the world on Nerve.com not looking for the love of my life, a quick screw or a serially monogamous (or polygamous) partner. In fact, I am currently doing my own little bit to break the concrete assumptions of lust on that Valentiniful site. How?

First, by in your face telling people I'm not there to date. Rather, I'm there because I LOVE people in that way that only the hopeful misanthrope can. Second, by telling people I'm open to meeting guys as well as women, though I am straight. Thirdly, and ironically enough, I'm lying about my age because *** NEWS FLASH *** no one looks at your profile when you're 38 unless it's some chick looking to get married or find a sugar daddy. That said, I tell anyone viewing my profile about the lie in the first sentence of my profile.

Naturally, of course, no one believes me.

Or so it seems.

One woman I contacted said she "didn't think we were a match," although to be fair, she seemed to believe me when I explained myself further. The only guy who viewed my profile, and who just happened to be gay, winked at me and, I'm going to jump to a conclusion here, but I think he was checking out my availability...

The point is, if there is a point, is that I've got this working theory, borne out by experience over and over, that the populi at large is much more inclined to believe the likely but believable fiction than the unlikely truth. Decide for yourself if that makes the world better or, as I believe, simply safer, far less surprising, much more fearful and ***SAP ALERT!!!** much much less nicer.

Or let's put it another way, when was the last time you didn't do something nice for someone because you were pretty certain that it would be misinterpreted?

TECHNORATI TAGS :: Internet :: Social :: Networking :: Isolation